Officials to Begin Slowly, Painfully Dissolving Port Richey with Acidic Chemtrails


Pasco lawmakers have approved a measure to officially begin dissolving the City of Port Richey via highly-acidic aerial dousings.

The action, suitably-named Operation Clean Slate, will authorize passenger and cargo airliners to begin releasing chemtrails containing a solution of sulfuric acid into the airspace directly above the Port Richey area. The Pasco Board of County Commissioners will subsidize participating airline companies $1,000 per dousing, a proposition that Spirit Airlines and Frontier Airlines immediately accepted. Other airliners soon followed suit.

The sulfuric acid gaseous solution was designed by Pasco-Hernando State College chemists to begin deteriorating all man-made and natural structures immediately upon contact. Researchers estimate that the entire City of Port Richey will be “completely and totally dissolved” after a month of sulfuric acid chemtrail treatments.

Human rights advocacy group, Peace in Pasco, released a statement urging residents of Port Richey to seek shelter immediately if they see an airplane in the sky.

If you are in the area currently known as Port Richey and you see anything in the sky that appears to be an airplane, run and hide immediately. Alert others in the immediate area by shrieking loudly and pointing at the sky. Save yourself before assisting others. Exposure to the solution will inevitably cause your face to melt like that Nazi guy from Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Pasco officials set the acidic chemtrail treatments of Port Richey to begin in Mid- November, so that property-owners in areas surrounding Port Richey will have “an early Christmas present this holiday season.

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