NEW PORT RICHEY, FL –
On Thursday, New Port Richey City Council members voted unanimously to impose a stiff $200 fine for anyone heard uttering the phrase ‘Chasco Fiasco.’
Under the new ‘Don’t Say Fiasco’ ordinance, anyone who uses the phrase ‘Chasco Fiasco’ to refer to the Chasco Fiesta will be fined $200 per utterance.
Officials say the controversial decision was made in order to ‘reclaim and preserve‘ the true identity of New Port Richey’s beloved street parade – the Chasco Fiesta. They claim that using the wrong phrase can cause confusion among New Port Richey Residents, and harm the reputation of the businesses participating in the event.
New Port Richey Mayor Rob Marlowe stated,
Referring to the Chasco Fiesta as a ‘fiasco’ is uncalled for and extremely offensive to the rich cultural heritage that the parade celebrates. We recognize the good feelings that naturally arise in most people from spontaneous rhyming. However, we harshly condemn the use of that forbidden phrase, especially when the true name of the parade is literally the same amount of syllables.
Mayor Marlowe continued by identifying the use of the problematic phrase as ‘an epidemic of massive proportions’. He explained that by implementing the fine, the City Council hopes to both punish people who ‘knowingly and maliciously’ utter the incorrect phrase, and also deter unsuspecting citizens from possibly unintentionally using the phrase in the future.
The origin of the peculiar phrase remains a mystery. Theories range from a disinformation campaign launched by Gulf View Square Flea Market, to a tragic auto-correct mishap. However it came about, its impact is widely felt, especially by New Port Richey officials and organizers of the event.
We have no idea what percentage of the New Port Richey citizenry actually believe that ‘Chasco Fiasco’ is the proper name of the parade. Therefore, we are open to the possibility that some will unknowingly break the new ordinance without malice aforethought.
According to Dictionary.com, a Fiasco is ‘a thing that is a complete failure, especially in a ludicrous or humiliating way.’
Upstanding citizens wishing to protect their community from the use of unauthorized language are encouraged to report the names of any offenders of the new ordinance to the New Port Richey City Council during their public comment sessions.