Concerns are rising after Congressman Gus Bilirakis found a mysterious gold ring at a campaign event on Tuesday. Bystanders say that Bilirakis’ countenance “immediately changed” after stumbling across a gold ring that he found behind a garbage can at a Ron Oakley campaign event. Volunteers said he would not stop whispering to and petting it. Even when the time came for a picture with Ron Oakley, Bilirakis refused to put away to ring and continued stroking it with his index finger.
Commissioner Oakley recounted what happened. “At first I wasn’t sure what he was saying, but then I heard it clearly. He was whispering, ‘my precious’ to the ring.” Time will only tell if the One Ring will bring unnaturally long life to Bilirakis’ political career, as his seat is up for re-election in 2018.