Entire Mariano Family to Run for Office in 2018

First it was Jack, then it was Amber, and now it’s everyone else. On Thursday, undoubtedly truthful sources confirmed that all members of the Mariano family will run for a local seat in 2018. Jack’s wife, second daughter, and all extended relatives of the Mariano family are vying for local seats ranging from mosquito control to U.S. senate. Jack says that due to his “awesome political strategery”, simply having the last name ‘Mariano’ is now an automatic upper-hand in any election.

 He calls the strategy “bulk name recognition”. He explained,

“If someone in Pasco sees a sign that says ‘Vote Mariano’, they don’t stop to think which Mariano anymore. There’s too many of us. They can no longer contain us. Mark my words : There will be a Mariano in every public office in Pasco county by 2020.”

Jack Mariano has still not forgiven his disgraced former barber.

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