Covid-19 Virus Kills Local Karen’s Need for Manager


The covid 19 pandemic has changed life as we know it, but perhaps for none more than the dreaded “Karen”, who appears to be socially-distancing herself from local managers.

Although the stressful circumstances surrounding the outbreak were thought to be prime opportunity for the infamous woman with big hair and highlights to reign terror on local managers everywhere, Karen sightings have plummeted in recent weeks.

A local natural supermarket manager, and previous victim of a Karen, gave a statement as to why he thinks Karen sightings in his store have decreased significantly since the outbreak of the coronavirus.

As a survivor of Karen, I know all too well the effects that a Karen can have on the people around her. As much as I’d like to think they’ve changed, I know deep in my heart that they’ve just got other things on their minds. They’re too panicked right now. They don’t have time to whine about us being out of TP when they’ve got 10 other places to check and 2 kids at home with crap-caked butts.

A local insightful citizen we interviewed offered another explanation to the phenomenon.

With so many people staying home, there’s just not enough traffic for her to be out. Not enough people on the road for her to tell them how to drive. I remember seeing one, not too long ago, stuck in traffic, windows rolled down in her minivan, applying makeup, checking her hair, leaning out the window to yell how people should drive. Then she turned around and dealt with her entitled kids in the back.

A sight to see, indeed. One that’s becoming more and more rare.

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