Millions of Entitled Floridians Grateful for Heat for First Time Ever

NEW PORT RICHEY, FL –

As local temperatures rose back up to moderately warm levels this past week, millions of Floridians became grateful for the sun, and the heat that it emits, for the first time in their lives.

Florida weather got a bit chilly this past month, as temperatures dropped to
One such person, Rudy Balboa, is a first-generation Floridian. After experiencing temperatures in the low thirties this past month, he began hoping and praying for heat for the first time in his life.

After it returned, he publicly expressed a sincere appreciation for the heat that he had previously taken for granted. He tweeted,

I’ve just been reintroduced to a close companion of mine that has always been right here with me, but who I took for granted. She would hold me tight, keep me warm, and even make me sweat sometimes. Her name is Sun, and she is the light of my life. I vow never to never take her protection, faithfulness, and smoking hotness for granted ever again.

Millions of Floridians had similar experiences to Balboa, in which the sudden cold-snap brought them to a profound and unprecedented appreciation for the Sun and it’s heat provision. However, experts agree that after a “honeymoon phase” of about 2 weeks, many of these same Floridians will begin complaining about the heat.

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